A pop-up store dedicated to producing the finest quality white noise, cut to unique vinyl records.
All events are free and open to the public.
Sold out, sorry! A limited number of pre-generated records are available for purchase. Order them here.
We use the very best in hardware and algorithmic generators to produce your white noise. Select from a variety of vintage and cutting-edge technologies and be ensured you will receive the best quality white noise possible.
You will also be able to choose a seed, or we will create one randomly for you using computer algorithms or physical devices like casino-quality dice, bingo cage, or yarrow sticks.
Not all noise is created equal: we use top-of-the-line statistical tests to ensure your white noise is as random as possible. After being generated, your noise undergoes a battery of tests (see the FAQ below for more information). The results are marked on a label affixed to your white noise record as an indicator of its quality.
Once generated and tested, your noise will be hand-cut onto a unique 7-inch vinyl record that can be played on any record player. Each record features a label that lists the generator, tests passed, and other information about your noise. It is sealed with a tamper-proof sticker and a unique serial number. Your noise will also be sent to you as a secure digital download.
If you don't have a turntable, a digital-only option is also available.
Can I order white noise online?
Records are sold out, sorry! Hopefully we'll have some more available soon. Yes! We have a limited number of pre-generated records available for sale here. Supplies are limited, so first come first served. Additional records may be made available at a later date. If you'd like to place a bulk order, please send an email.
Can my white noise be made to be cryptographically secure?
In short, we will do our absolute best but you should take your own precautions depending on your individual needs.
Of course, you should take your own precautions. We are happy to accommodate any requests possible to ensure your noise meets your needs.
What is the difference between pseudo and true random noise?
Computers are deterministic devices, ultimately only capable of generating 0s and 1s. Random numbers created by computers are the result of carefully crafted algorithms, but are really only psuedo-random. By contrast, physical methods like atmospheric noise generate true random numbers.
Depending on your needs and aesthetic preferences, we offer both psuedo and true random number generators. Please see our menu for the full list of options.
What can I use white noise for?
We offer the very best quality white noise available anywhere. Your noise can be used for a variety of purposes, including:
How can you ensure my white noise is unique?
We pride ourselves on providing absolutely unique white noise, ensuring that you are the only person in the world to own your exact randomness. After being generated, your noise is run through a hashing algorithm, which condenses it into a short, unique string of characters. This hash is checked against all other hashes we have ever created – if it is not unique, the noise is discarded and generated again.
We then store your hash in a database, unless you request we do not (see "Can my white noise be made to be cryptographically secure?" for more information on this).
What tests do you perform on white noise?
Even the most random-seeming data can contain small amounts of order. While measuring randomness can be difficult, we run our white noise through ten tests to make sure our product is as random as possible. Many of these tests are part of the rigorous Dieharder suite to ensure maximum quality. The results are marked on a label affixed to your record: an X means your noise passes that test, a dash-mark means it passes weakly.
Do you offer pre-made white noise?
Yes, if you do not have time to wait for us to generate custom-made noise for you, we offer a selection of pre-made records for purchase.
Where did the logo come from?
The White Noise Boutique logo is inspired by dice created by Sir Francis Galton called, appropriately, Galton's Dice. These dice allow for a normal distribution of 24 values using only 6 faces, which were useful for his early experiments in statistics where easily-generated but well-balanced random numbers were needed.